Werewolf Wednesday - Werewolf Santa

***WARNING*** My opinion of this film may in fact be influenced by the fact that the last movie I saw prior to this one was Crackcoon. Please make a note of it.

You know, maybe it’s true what they say about the British Isles…that they have a propensity toward drama, acting, theatre and whatnot. Because, as I said in the opening, if I compare the British low-budget found footage film Werewolf Santa to the low-budget shitshow that was Crackcoon, I gotta tell you, the Brits damn sure know what they’re doing a hell of a lot more than us colonists. Before I get into the specifics…even though I really don’t need to, I mean, c’mon, it’s called Werewolf Santa, what more do you need to freakin’ know…anyway, let’s tackle the synopsis:

Lucy’s YouTube channel, Monster Hunters, isn’t doing very well. Mainly because for all her hunting, she’s yet to find a single monster. One Christmas Eve, while travelling to her mum’s, her fortunes, along with those of the entire town of Hastings, are about to change. There are stories of werewolves in the caves nearby, which Lucy is more interested in than any family reunion. Lucy bites off more than she can chew when she discovers that not only are the stories true, but they’ve got their eyes on a certain jolly old elf. Can Lucy stop the carnage before these lycanthropes can find out if it’s jelly or lard that makes Santa’s belly jiggle?

That’s the other thing. With low-budget wrecks like Llamageddon and Crackcoon, the “visionaries” behind these films won’t even sign their work. Howie Dewin? Brad Twigg? Fucking hell. But kudos to the cajones on Airell Anthony Hayles. He puts his name out there, and you know what? He should. What we have here in Werewolf Santa is a story told in a found-footage style…well, more like a YouTube video as alluded to earlier…hell, they’ve even got the click to subscribe stuff on screen (blurred out, of course, so as to not entice the wrath of The Google). That in and of itself takes away that ‘ugh’ feeling I get when it’s very obvious that a film is shot entirely on digital video…because it’s supposed to look this way!

As we’re discussing the look of the film, this seems like a good time to point out the practical effects. While nothing about the gore really stands out, it’s serviceable. It does what it needs to do without drawing attention to itself. Lots of intestines. Possibly a dismembered penis. I’ll admit that our titular mythical creatures; the werewolf, Santa and Werewolf Santa, could’ve been handled better. But, again, this is where Hayles trumps his American counterparts: if you know that your creature effects aren’t the best, use the dark and limited time onscreen to help boost what you actually have. It saddens me that so many people forget a tenet espoused by Hitchcock and used to perfection by Tobe Hooper in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The less you show, the more the viewer has to imagine…and the audience will always come up with something far more terrifying than you ever could. No, the creatures don’t look great…but you don’t see them for very long. Instead, it’s the atmosphere of the film that does the hard work, and the darkness too.

Back to stereotyping the Brits, all of the acting here runs circles around the shite I’ve already mentioned. While yes, I admit that there’s a certain charm to the whole “let’s get a group of friends together and make a movie…no, it doesn’t matter if you can act, just c’mon down!” thing, goddamn it’s such a relief to see genuine acting. There’s not a single beat that’s off. Every emotion is valid and there’s no single performance that rips you out of the film. Now, they way I wrote that, you’d think I was talking about fucking Shakespeare here, and I assure you, it is indeed a low-budget Santa-is-a-werewolf film and all the inherent goofiness that entails, but the arguments between Lucy and her cameraman Dustin, or both of them amongst her very dysfunctional (and divorced) parents, there truly is an air of verisimilitude throughout the whole picture. No single character or event breaks you out of the truth that has been constructed from and governs this world. Lastly, of course it should be noted that one John Bloom, Joe Bob Briggs himself, provides the opening narration…that being a recitation of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…well, with a few strays from the tale here and there.

My mixed feelings about the film arise from it’s only negative…but it’s kind of a big one. The narrative, ESPECIALLY at the beginning, is very choppy. Granted, that may have been on purpose for a couple of reasons, each pretty valid. In story terms, these ‘scenes’ simply may not have been filmed and as such may have occurred, but did so offscreen. In real-life terms, likely the budget was getting tight an thus scenes and the shooting time needed to film them were likely excised to keep from going broke. This smooths out by the midpoint of the film and things stay on the rails for the remainder of the running time (only a mere 72 minutes), but this choppiness at the start made me feel as a viewer that I was missing things, key facts or backgrounds, something to flesh out both the story and the characters more. I feel like the film could’ve really benefitted from a little more time, maybe upping the run time to 90 minutes. Oh, and one last thing, the story is a little tropey. You’re really not going to see anything new here, although I was impressed that they cribbed a little from the Paul Naschy ‘Hombre Lobo’ films with the rule that a werewolf can only be killed by someone that loves them. (And yes, once this comes up, it kinda ruins the big twist at the end of the film). That might be the best way to describe this shortcoming, the story really is constructed as ‘Chekov’s everything’.

At not much longer than an hour, Werewolf Santa doesn’t ask much from you as a viewer, certainly not time. What it gives, while certainly not unique aside from its premise, is surrounded by enough quality ingredients to minimize the few negatives. If nothing else, it serves as a much needed reminder that low-budget fair doesn’t always need to fall into the ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ genre…or worse. It can be, and should be when it’s at its best, a fun diversion and at times, perhaps even good. With the blood, breasts and beasts that any good drive-in movie needs, along with the stereotypical good and steady British acting, not only does Werewolf Santa deserve a Happy Cat, but should be part of your holiday celebrations as well.